Valentine’s Day Edition: America Wants to Have Obama’s Baby

As we while away an hour in Study Hall, a friend passes us a note that says Barack thinks we’re cute.

Oh, be still my heart, could it be true?

And we were just writing our first name and his last name over and over again in our in the margins of our textbook.

The country’s smitten with Obama, but it’s like a Hollywood romantic comedy. It’s all about the chase, the build-up to when the couple actually gets together, hooks up or whatever euphemism you prefer. Then we roll the credits and assume they live happily ever after.

The heavy lifting of any long term relationship, whether it’s romantic or political, comes after the hormone filled swooning phase we’re in right now. That’s when you realize some of those quirks you thought were cute have devolved into annoying habits.

Barack wants to lie on the couch in his underwear watching sports all weekend instead of going antiquing with you. You catch Barack checking out your friend’s rear end. Now he wants to borrow money.

You think you’ll change him, like a little home improvement project, but he‘s happy with the way he is, so now you’re stuck with him.

After the giddy euphoria that follows the historic inauguration of the nation’s first black president, he announces that his team has determined that a hasty withdrawal from Iraq could create more problems than we have already.

“But you promised!”

The best we can get on a timetable for bringing the troops home is an eloquent version of “we’ll see.”

Interest groups stall his health care plan and its lack of mandatory insurance that will allow young healthy people to game the system and sign up only after they dislocate a shoulder playing pick-up basketball.

His ambitious jobs and green energy program have to be scaled back to a pale reflection of the original proposal because of skyrocketing budget deficits.

His first meetings with Mahmoud “I’m a Dinner Jacket” Ahmadinejad , crazy eyes Hugo Chavez, and Bond villain Kim Jong Il turn out to be humiliating public relations disasters, just like Hillary said they would be. Pundits quip he’s “over his head” and “not ready for primetime.”

It would be easier to leave him, but that’s not in the cards. So you stand by your man and try to remember why you loved him so much in the first place.